Chapter Text
<Audio Excerpt from Central Command Department Main Room, Table 7>
Heathcliff: I’m so tired.
Rodion: C’mon, babe, the day just started.
Heathcliff: I’m so bloody tired.
Rodion: They change your Enkephalin intake or something?
Heathcliff: They took the armor they gave me after like, a single day of wearing it. It sure feels like changing meds.
Rodion: Yeah, ALEPH Gear does that to you I hear. Sending imaginary Endorphins into your brain, making you wanna eat human flesh… <Yawn> Just straight-up talking to you…
Heathcliff: You don’t seem hot either, mate.
Rodion: I just stayed up drinking late with some friends. They missed you, by the way.
Heathcliff: Likely story.
Rodion: If you keep denying it, it’ll actually come true one day, you know that, right? You’re a needy little fella, always whining if you don’t get enough attention from me or the Manager or you-know-who. Acting tough to get isn’t the power play you think it is.
Heathcliff: …I’ll try to make it next time. Haven't been feeling well lately. Sorry.
Rodion: Hey, it’s alright. Just don’t want your own insecurities beating you up. That’s a one-way ticket to misery.
Heathcliff: Misery, huh.
Rodion: …Hey, so, are you two fighting?
Heathcliff: …Not that I know of? Could be something I forgot again. I haven’t seen her today yet, either. Why?
Rodion: She seems down in the dumps. Like as in ‘curled into a ball’ dumps. Wouldn’t speak or even look at me at all during Insight, even as I was cleaning her up.
Heathcliff: …I’ll ask Miss Tiph for access.
<Chair scraping>
Rodion: Wh-hey, you didn’t get a reply yet!
<Rapid footsteps fading away>
Rodion: Ah well, more for me.
<Sounds of crunching and chewing>
<The following audio log is severely corrupted. The walkie-talkie retrieved from the Agent post-suppression was rendered unusable due to the unknown substance that spread over it inside and out, scrambling the wiring and machinery. The following is what could be recovered and made out. Additionally, the audio consisting of simply static had been pitched down a significant amount in consideration of the listener’s hearing ability.>
<Audio Excerpt from Lady of the Lake’s Containment Unit during attempted Attachment work by Central Command Agent Heathcliff>
<Static, lowering and heightening in intensity at seemingly random intervals.>
<A male voice can be heard. Indecipherable.>
<A noise akin to distorted laughter, hard to describe whether joyful or out of despair.>
Lady of the Lake: ... .. -. -.-Heathcliff–
<Static intensifying>
Heathcliff: If I– ... .. -. -.-
<Static receding, then intensifying again at seemingly random intervals.>
Heathcliff: ... .. -. -.- –ease, just–... .. -. -.- don’t... .. -. -.-
<Static intensifying, squelches of what is presumably the Abnormality’s tentacles can be heard.>
. ...- . -. ....... -... . ..-. --- .-. . ....... .. ....... -... . -.-. .- -- . ....... .- ....... ... .- .. .-.. --- .-. --..-- ....... .. ....... .-.. --- -. --. . -.. ....... ..-. --- .-. ....... - .... . ....... -.-. --- .-.. -.. ....... . -- -... .-. .- -.-. . ....... --- ..-. ....... - .... . ....... .- -... -.-- ... ... .-.-.- ....... .. .-.. .-.. ....... - .- -.- . ....... -.-- --- ..- ....... - --- ....... .-- .... . .-. . ....... -- -.-- ....... ... - --- .-. -.-- ....... ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. ....... .... .- ...- . ....... . -. -.. . -.. ....... .-.. --- -. --. ....... .- --. --- ....... .- -. -.. ....... .-- . ....... ... .... .- .-.. .-.. ....... -... . ....... .-.. --- -. --. .. -. --. ....... -. --- ....... -- --- .-. . .-.-.- .......
.. ....... -.. --- -. - ....... .-- .- -. - ....... - --- ....... -... . ....... .-. . ... .--. --- -. ... .. -... .-.. . ....... ..-. --- .-. ....... .- -. -.-- ....... -- --- .-. . ....... ... ..- ..-. ..-. . .-. .. -. --. ....... ..-. --- .-. ....... - .... . ....... .--. . --- .--. .-.. . ....... .. ....... -.-. .- .-. . ....... .- -... --- ..- - .-.-.- ....... .. ....... -.. --- -. - ....... .-- .- -. - ....... - --- ....... ... . . ....... .. - .-.-.-
.. ....... -.-. .- -. - ....... - .- -.- . ....... .. - ....... .- -. -.-- -- --- .-. . .-.-.- ....... .--- ..- ... - ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.- ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.- ....... ... .. -. -.- ....... .-- .. - .... ....... -- . .-.-.- ....... .-.. . - ... ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.- ....... .-- . ....... .... .- ...- . ....... - --- ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.- ....... .. ....... .-- .. .-.. .-.. ....... --. .. ...- . ....... -.-- --- ..- ....... - .... . ....... . -. -.. .. -. --. ....... -.-- --- ..- ....... .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. ....... .-.. --- ...- . ....... -- . ....... ..-. --- .-. .-.-.- ....... .. ....... .-- .. .-.. .-.. ....... - .. . ....... .- ....... .-. --- .--. . ....... - --- ....... .... --- .-.. -.. ....... --- ..- .-. ....... .-- . .. --. .... - --..-- ....... --- -. ....... . --.- ..- .- .-.. ....... .... . .. --. .... - ....... ... --- ....... .-- . ....... -.-. .- -. ....... .... --- .-.. -.. ....... .... .- -. -.. ... ....... .. -. ....... - .... . ....... ... .-- .. -. --. .. -. --. ....... --. .- .-.. .-.. --- .-- ... .-.-.- ....... .- ....... .-. --- .--. . ....... .-- .. .-.. .-.. ....... .... --- .-.. -.. ....... .-- . .. --. .... - ....... .. ..-. ....... .-.. .. ..-. . ....... .-.. . .- ...- . ... ....... - .... . ....... -... --- -.. -.-- --..-- ....... ..-. --- .-. ....... .-.. .. ...- .. -. --. ....... .. ... ....... - .... . ....... .... . .- ...- .. . ... - ....... -... ..- .-. -.. . -. ....... .--. .-.. .- -.-. . -.. ....... ..- .--. --- -. ....... --- ..- .-. ....... -... .. .-. - .... .-.-.- ....... .-.. . - ....... ..- ... ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.- ....... .-.. . - .----. ... ....... ..-. .. -. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.- ....... -.. .-. --- .-- -. ....... -- -.-- ....... ..-. . .- .-. ... .-.-.- ....... .-.. . - .----. ... ....... ... .. -. -.- .-.-.-
<Counseling Log for session with Central Command Team Agent Rodion>
For the last time, I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t know that would happen! I didn’t see it as that big a change, I thought she was just in a bad mood. It happens with the abnormalities sometimes, figured something was going on with her, too! She’s been down on her mood before, and it took her some time to get back to her usual self. Well, time and… Heathcliff. He always brought her back from whatever dark corner her mind was in.
I didn’t see him after he finished his work–an ordeal happened some time after he left, so we had to take care of that. I tried phoning in for his location, but when I did, the most awful, grating noise came out. Like if gravel started pouring out of the walkie-talkie, I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s as if it had an extra-loudspeaker mode! So I turn it off, obviously, head to the Lady of the Lake’s containment unit, and what do you know, it’s open.
Imagine my surprise though, when I notice not one, but two ropes leading out of the containment chamber, and into the elevator.
<Counseling Log for session with Welfare Team Agent Hong Lu>
Mhm, I popped in to help with a breaching Abnormality for the Safety team since I wasn’t busy. The Ordeal just so happened to arrive as I was about to leave, so I was assigned to help clean up. By the end of it, I was in the Training Department, chatting away with Don Quixote as we were finishing up. (Omitted)
<Counseling Log for session with Training Team Agent Don Quixote>
(Omitted) …and just when the Ordeal was seemingly at its end–hark! Another foe! Two of them, in fact! (Omitted) And at its side, a man ensnared in what was almost a silver web winding around his body trotted towards us with uneven steps, knees bent as if ready to buckle at any moment! He swung his weapon hence at anything that moved, anything that dared come close! I thought it a foul spawn of the Abnormality, but then, I recognized the weapon and armor as one of our fellow Agents’! T’was one of our companions! (Omitted)
And when it fell, like a puppet with its strings cut, a weapon bereft of its master, a– (Omitted) –he tumbled to the floor! Our fellow Hong Lu, how fortunate he was there! He crouched near the man and poked at his head with the blunt end of his spear, and our friend reacted! Hope sparked in my heart as I crouched near, and saw his eyes fluttering about! Confused and lost, but indeed alive! (Omitted)
<Counseling Log for session with Welfare Team Agent Hong Lu>
He seemed in shock, but looking back, It was probably that the Abnormality’s control over him hadn’t gone away just yet. So we carried him to the Main Room to see if the Healing Regenerators would help. We pushed some chairs together and had him lay down as we tried to get his attention. It seemed as if he could hear us, but just couldn’t respond, until croaks started leaving his mouth!
He said he couldn’t move, and Don Quixote got right to removing the white membrane from his body! It seemed to help a lot. …What if it was infectious and spread to every clerk in the room? Hmm… I guess that was a possibility. Anyway, his speech was kinda slurred and sluggish, slow to answer when I asked how many fingers I was holding up. I ask him the basics–his name, his department–everything up to par. He starts bouncing his limbs to get feeling back in them, and eventually, he was able to sit up. It was a bit funny to see a Level 5 struggle to do that like my Grandma in the morning. Hm? No, he didn’t seem mad. Just confused, like he didn’t know what to do.
We tried asking him about the Abnormality, and then he just snapped to attention! Asking us where the ‘Lady’ was. Before we could really answer or ask what happened, that’s when the other Agent came for him. Heathcliff has some really good friends, huh?
<Counseling Log for session with Central Command Team Agent Rodion>
I followed the rope, only to see it snap in one of the hallways near the Training department. I didn’t see any bodies, so I asked a clerk, and found out someone was carried to the Main Room, so I booked it there. (Omitted)
Some white gunk was still stuck to his hair and armor. He didn’t seem to notice it. I didn’t wanna touch him, obviously, I didn’t know what was going on. The Agents assured me it’s fine, but with the gunk stuck to the girl’s armor, you can’t blame me for not wanting to take my chances.
There was a snapped rope tied to his waist. My brain put two and two together.
After some time, the Healing Generator seemed to have helped melt away the rest of the fiber. Physically, he walked it off fine. Was a little sluggish on our way down but the rest of the day he was walking and swinging his weapon with the usual gait. Mentally? He looked tired and a little frustrated. Mostly tired, more than I’ve ever seen him. Mussed up hair and eyes still a little glassy like a fisheye. But he still wanted to go back to check on the Lady because this is Heathcliff we’re talking about.
He never did get a reply back from the Sephirah about his work request. He was fidgeting with his messaging device all day, hoping for one. Yeah, he did do his work just fine the rest of the day.
When the day ended, I saw him going to the Lady of the Lake’s chamber. I followed him in case he was planning something stupid, but he never entered, just looked around the door. She got stuck in the pipes one time, so maybe he was hoping to find an excuse to go in. But all there was was the hemp rope stuck to his waist earlier that day, separated from its other half.
I peeked through the window with him, and she was curled up into a ball, but… It was different from when she’s sleeping. It was like her tentacles seemed kinda… melted together? This is gonna sound bad, but you know how you glaze sauce over meat sometimes? She looked kind of like that. There was white fiber all over her, like the one that was on Heathcliff earlier that day. He was clearly itching to go in, banging on the door, but I got him to stop so he just groaned and shouted his goodnights to her. That they’re gonna talk about this tomorrow. (Omitted)
…While we were going back… I don’t know if he wanted me to hear it, but he started muttering. “What did I do wrong?” He said. “I always do this. I always do something to mess things up. How did I hurt her this time? I won’t know if she won’t tell me. Am I so cursed? Rodya, did I do something wrong? If I did, please tell me. Please.”
All I could do was give the poor guy a hug as for the first time, I cursed my lack of knowledge in this place.
I did ask him what happened with her, yeah. Probably nothing he hasn’t told you already… (Omitted)
<Counseling Log for session with Central Command Team Agent Heathcliff>
…When I went into the containment unit for Attachment work, she was already curled up. Not like she is now, in that cocoon, just… wrapped in her own tentacles. She does that when the day’s just starting, or if something’s bothering her. First thing I did… I’m such a fool, sodding… (Omitted)
I was just… I guess I was worried that she’d forgotten me. I know already that she can’t forget, it’s half of her worries. But when I entered, she just stared at me. Didn’t move or say anything. She looked frozen still for a good moment, as if she was still processing my presence. Right off the bat I could tell she wasn’t all there, so I start getting worried.
Thought that maybe it was my turn to remind her, maybe have a hand up on her for once, I thought foolishly, since she likes to hold what I’ve forgotten over me. ‘m not really mad about it anymore, no. I was at first, now it’s just a thing between us. What did I tell her? She knew my name, knew I… uh. Knew my ring was important to me. Some stuff about my home life. My worries. Mental issues. …Yeah, I guess that’s a lot. You’re making it sound like I should feel bad for it. I don’t.
…No, it’s all muddy. I know she said something, kept muttering about something or the other. I tried to get her to explain, to get her to look at me–ah, yeah, after a bit, she just ducked her head like she was about to throw up into her big mound of tentacles, hiding her face. Like even the sight of me was sickening. But I was used to it, I–I’ve gotten used to it, people have looked at me like that all my life. Even people I cared about. So when she started lookin’ like that, I guess I panicked. “No, not you too” I thought. I tried grabbing her, I reckon, to get her to look at me and see if she would perceive me the way I thought she would.
When she looked at me again, her slits were thinner than I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t look away, not that I wanted to. I figured if we just faced each other head on, something would be different. Things would be better this time. But the memories of disgust and scorn I was forced to endure all my life, they were at the forefront of my mind. It’s what I didn’t want, but what I most expected at that moment. The coward that I am.
The slits in her eyes got thinner than ever as she looked at me, like spears that saw that moment of weakness and took that moment to hook me in.
…It was that deluded, underlying optimism that made me submit so easily, I reckon.
She started smiling I think. Grabbed my face and started talking, I don’t remember what. She looked happy and sorrowful at the same time. I saw a mouth opening up in her body, at some point. The one in the form when she breaches, probably. For a second maybe. Then I felt… You know when your arms asleep, and there’s like, static in it? That’s how my whole body felt. Static in my body, static in my eyes, in my brain. All around. I fumbled about, or attempted to. Went in a general direction, did what I was generally told to do, and moved my body in a general way. I sound like a wage slave? Never worked as one. I got lucky, you say?
No, I don’t regret it. I’m bad with my words and coming up with things on the spot. I’ve always hated that about myself, it’s nothing new. But I don’t regret trying to connect with her. Call me crazy, I don’t care. I’m used to it by now.
…Don’t blame her now. The lass is in more despair than I am. She’s fully aware of what she did, that’s why she’s like this. It’s painfully obvious. What the hell is wrong with you? Your precious “energy source” is in a slump, and it’s our duty to keep them happy, innit? Some professional you are.
“Make me happy”? Right now, my happiness would be helping her get out of that cocoon she trapped herself in. And if you really care about your employees, your workplace, like you say you do, you’ll forward this discussion to Miss Tiphereth instead of sitting on your arses. At least she actually cares about moving forward, unlike you sorry excuses.
…I’m beginning to sound like Miss Tiph? Maybe I’m just tired of your bullsh*t, have you considered that? I see someone I care about suffer, I’m not gonna hold my tongue and sit around while others do what they… Pah, what are you even gonna do if I don’t push ya? Hope the situation resolves on its own?
…You can’t face the fear without opening your eyes, or build the future without the strength to lift your head. So I won’t sleep yet, or drop what I hold dear, even if my hands shake from the pain.
I’ve spent so much time running away. I wanna do what I can, now–with my arms open, even if the hearts I want to carry are too heavy for us to bear.
I’m prepared to carry my regrets. But I’m tired of having any more. Aren't you?
